Cruel Intentions: The Trump Administration Edition

By Michael Kelman Portney

In the game of politics, there is only one rule: Never fall in love.

Picture this: a modern-day retelling of the 1999 classic Cruel Intentions, but instead of privileged Manhattan teens, we cast the power players of the Trump administration. The parallels are uncanny, and the drama? Unmatched.

Kathryn Merteuil – Ivanka Trump
Ivanka, with her poised demeanor and calculated charm, mirrors Kathryn's manipulative elegance. Both present a facade of virtue while orchestrating schemes behind closed doors. Ivanka's involvement in her father's administration, often portrayed as the moderating influence, aligns with Kathryn's role as the queen bee controlling the narrative.

Sebastian Valmont – Jared Kushner
Enter Jared Kushner, Ivanka's husband and senior advisor. Much like Sebastian, Jared navigates the political landscape with a calm exterior, all the while engaging in backdoor dealings and strategic manipulations. His diplomatic endeavors and real estate ventures echo Sebastian's conquests, driven by ambition and a desire for power.

Annette Hargrove – The American Public
Annette, the embodiment of innocence and idealism, represents the American populace. Hopeful and trusting, the public becomes the target of the administration's calculated moves, much like Annette falls prey to Sebastian and Kathryn's bet. The promise of "draining the swamp" and bringing change mirrors the allure of true love and honesty that Annette seeks.

Cecile Caldwell – The Media
The naive and easily influenced Cecile finds her counterpart in the media. Initially manipulated to serve the administration's agenda, the media, like Cecile, eventually uncovers the truth and plays a pivotal role in exposing the deceit. The transformation from a pawn to a whistleblower is central to both narratives.

The Plot Unfolds

Ivanka and Jared, the power couple of Washington D.C., make a wager: can they manipulate public opinion and policy to their advantage without facing repercussions? Their target is the unsuspecting American public, eager for change and susceptible to well-crafted narratives.

Through charm offensives and strategic alliances, they seduce the nation into believing in their vision. However, as their policies unfold—ranging from controversial executive orders to questionable international dealings—their true intentions come to light.

The media, initially complicit or oblivious, starts to piece together the puzzle. Investigative journalism exposes the underbelly of the administration's actions, much like Cecile's awakening to Kathryn and Sebastian's true nature.

In a climactic turn, leaked documents and insider accounts serve as Sebastian's journal, revealing the depth of manipulation and betrayal. Public trust is shattered, reputations are tarnished, and the once untouchable duo faces the consequences of their "cruel intentions."

Epilogue

As the credits roll, we're left reflecting on the nature of power, trust, and deception. The Trump administration's saga, much like the film, serves as a cautionary tale: in the ruthless game of politics, the stakes are high, and the casualties are real.

*Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece drawing parallels between a fictional film and real-life political figures. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental.*