Elon Musk Tragically Passes Away During Taping of Hot Ones After Failing to Reach Wing 4
By Michael Portney
Elon Musk, the billionaire visionary, part-time memelord, and full-time over-promiser, tragically passed away yesterday during a taping of Hot Ones, the popular YouTube series where celebrities answer questions while consuming increasingly spicy chicken wings. Musk, 53, met his untimely end on the fourth wing—mere moments before Da Bomb: Beyond Insanity, proving once and for all that Tesla isn’t the only thing of his that struggles with combustion.
The Wing That Brought Down a Titan
According to sources on set, Musk began the interview with his trademark bravado, boasting about how “X Æ A-12 was basically raised on ghost peppers” and how he personally engineered a neural implant to suppress pain, making him "immune to the concept of spice." He then proceeded to take a bite of the fourth wing, a seemingly innocuous habanero-based sauce.
The moment the spice hit, Musk reportedly froze. His pupils dilated. His lips quivered like a Tesla stock price after a bad tweet. Host Sean Evans, a seasoned spice war veteran, noticed something was off when Musk’s response to “What do you think about the future of AI?” was a low, barely audible “grrmphffk.”
Within seconds, the richest man in the world became the sweatiest man in the world. Then the reddest. Then the deadest.
A Shocking Exit for the Meme King
Doctors later confirmed that Musk suffered from what medical professionals refer to as a "spice-induced reality malfunction", an affliction most commonly seen in suburban dads who overestimate their tolerance for ghost pepper wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. Despite immediate attempts to revive him—including a failed CPR attempt by a Cybertruck—Musk was pronounced dead on arrival at the nearest hospital, which had unfortunately just been turned into a WeWork.
A statement from SpaceX noted that his body "immediately attempted self-launch upon impact with the sauce," leading to speculation that Musk's latest untested neural firmware may have glitched.
Legacy of a Man Who Promised Everything, But Survived Nothing
Tributes poured in from around the world. Mark Zuckerberg tweeted a simple “LOOOOL.” Jeff Bezos issued a statement saying, “At least I made it to Wing 7.” And Twitter, now renamed X: The Eternal Hellsite, briefly crashed as millions of Musk fans debated whether this was an elaborate test of consciousness upload technology.
His final tweet, posted moments before filming, read:
> “Spice tolerance is just a state of mind. Neuralink will fix it.”
Unfortunately, it did not.
Musk is survived by his 11 children, 78 unfinished Tesla Roadster pre-orders, and an estimated 400 lawsuits. Plans for his funeral remain unclear, though sources indicate that a SpaceX rocket carrying his ashes is scheduled for launch—pending the FAA’s approval, which could take anywhere from 6 months to never.
Rest in peace, Elon. You soared among the stars, but fell to a simple habanero. The final frontier… was your stomach lining.
