I Want to Be the First President to Be Pictured Taking a Shit

By Michael Kelman Portney

Introduction: Challenging the Illusion of Power

Power, authority, and reverence are constructs that have been meticulously crafted over centuries. These constructs serve to enforce hierarchies, delineating who is "above" and who is "below." Yet, at the core of our shared humanity, even the most revered leaders partake in the most mundane of human activities. They sit on the porcelain throne and relieve themselves just like everyone else. Despite this universal truth, it remains a taboo subject. Why? Because power, as we perceive it, does not poop—at least not in public.

It's time to dismantle this illusion.

If I ever ascend to the presidency of the United States, I aspire to be the first to be publicly pictured taking a shit. This is not intended as a stunt or a joke, but as a bold statement of radical honesty. It's not about being gross or shocking; it's about leveling the playing field, tearing down the pretense of untouchable authority, and reminding the world that leadership is about humanity—not untouchability.

The Myth of the Untouchable Leader

Throughout history, leaders have been elevated to godlike status. Kings were often considered "divinely appointed," while presidents are enveloped in pageantry and power. The image of the leader becomes sacred, polished, and above reproach. However, this illusion of perfection is perilous. It creates a disconnect between the people and those they elect to serve, feeding into the notion that leaders are somehow fundamentally different—better—than the rest of us.

Here's the truth: No one is immune to human frailty. Presidents get sick. Presidents make mistakes. And yes, presidents take dumps. Pretending otherwise perpetuates the toxic idea that power equals infallibility.

When we buy into the myth of the untouchable leader, we lose sight of what leadership should truly be about: understanding, connection, and service.

Breaking the Façade

Imagine this: a world leader, mid-term, sitting down for an official portrait—not behind a desk, not in an Oval Office, but on a toilet. It's unfiltered, raw, and real. It's not about humiliation; it's about humility.

Such an image would send a clear message: "I am no better than you. I have no delusions about my place in the human condition. I am here to serve, not to rule."

It's radical, yes, but that's the point. It takes something radical to shatter a centuries-old illusion. It forces us to confront our discomfort with humanizing power.

Why This Matters

We live in an era where trust in leadership is at an all-time low. People are disillusioned by the polished veneers of politicians who promise the world but deliver little. A photo of a president on the toilet wouldn't fix systemic issues, but it would be a start—a signal that we're done pretending leaders are anything but human.

It would also serve as a powerful rejection of the culture of perfectionism. In Trump's America (and beyond), we've been fed the lie that success means never admitting weakness, never showing vulnerability, never being real. But I believe the opposite is true. Real strength comes from authenticity, from saying, "This is who I am. Take it or leave it."

The Road to Authentic Leadership

If I ever become president, I don't want to be remembered for the suits I wore or the speeches I gave. I want to be remembered for tearing down walls, for bulldozing pretense, and for challenging what leadership is supposed to look like.

Would there be backlash? Of course. The internet would erupt. Late-night comedians would have a field day. Political opponents would seize the moment to question my "seriousness" or my "judgment." But that's the cost of breaking the mold.

And maybe, just maybe, it would inspire others to follow suit (or follow seat). Maybe we'd see more leaders embracing authenticity, vulnerability, and humanity.

Conclusion: Embracing Messy Leadership

The idea of a president being pictured on the toilet might sound absurd, but it's no more absurd than pretending our leaders are infallible gods. It's time to get real. It's time to tear down the facade.

Power doesn't come from hiding our humanity—it comes from owning it. If we want a government that works for the people, it has to start with leaders who aren't afraid to be people.

So, yeah, I want to be the first president to be pictured taking a shit. Because leadership is messy. Power is messy. Life is messy. And that's exactly why it's worth fighting for.

(MisinformationSucks.com: Taking the myths of power, culture, and truth to the toilet and beyond.)