Misinformation.sucks Was Wrong, And TikTok Is Gone: How To Eat Crow

By Michael Kelman Portney

We’ll own this upfront: we said TikTok wasn’t going anywhere. We told you it was all political theater, part of a bigger narrative game designed to stir the pot without disrupting the status quo. And now, TikTok is gone. Out of the App Store. Locked out for American users. Clearly, we were wrong.

But while we were wrong about the timing, we still believe our initial analysis is correct: this entire saga is more akin to pro wrestling than a genuine shutdown. The app’s disappearance feels less like a permanent ban and more like a dramatic act in a carefully scripted storyline. Why? Because this is all setting the stage for Trump to swoop in and play the hero—likely during his inauguration—by bringing TikTok back online.

Why TikTok’s Gone (For Now)

We didn’t expect a service interruption, and we take responsibility for getting that wrong. But the more we think about it, the more it makes sense. Trump loves a performance, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. By taking TikTok away—letting millions of users feel its loss—the stage is set for a triumphant return. Imagine the moment: during his inauguration speech, Trump announces, “TikTok is back!” The crowd goes wild, the app turns back on, and he walks away looking like the savior of Gen Z.

If this feels like a pro-wrestling storyline, that’s because it is. The hero needs a grand entrance, and the crowd needs to feel the stakes. TikTok going dark isn’t a mistake or a miscalculation—it’s part of the buildup to Trump’s ultimate “I saved TikTok” moment.

The Real Playbook

Here’s what we think is happening:

1. Create Absence: TikTok disappears. Panic sets in. Millions of users are suddenly reminded how much they rely on the app, and the cultural void it leaves becomes painfully obvious.

2. Build Anticipation: The uncertainty lingers. The headlines swirl. Influencers rally their audiences. The question on everyone’s mind becomes, “When will TikTok come back?”

3. Deliver the Payoff: During his inauguration—or shortly before—Trump steps in as the ultimate showman. He announces TikTok’s return, flips the switch, and basks in the glory of bringing the platform back to life.

This isn’t about national security or data privacy. This is about spectacle, narrative, and using TikTok as a prop in a larger political drama.

Where We Were Wrong

We said TikTok wouldn’t go anywhere, and clearly, it has. We underestimated how far the architects of this narrative were willing to go to create drama. We expected the threat of a ban to stay just that—a threat. What we didn’t account for was the tactical brilliance of a short-term shutdown to maximize the emotional impact of its return.

We told you there wouldn’t be a service interruption, and that’s on us. TikTok is gone, and we didn’t see it coming.

What Happens Next

Let’s be clear: we don’t think TikTok is gone for good. In fact, we fully expect it to be back before Trump’s inauguration is over. Maybe even mid-speech. Here’s what we think the next few days will look like:

1. Rising Panic: The absence of TikTok will dominate conversations. News outlets, influencers, and users alike will amplify the urgency.

2. Trump’s Hero Moment: Trump will time the app’s return perfectly. Whether it’s during his inauguration speech or immediately after, he’ll take credit for “saving” TikTok and solidify his connection with younger voters in the process.

3. Business as Usual: TikTok will come back stronger than ever. The return will be spun as a victory for everyone: freedom, culture, and Trump’s self-proclaimed dealmaking prowess.

Lessons Learned

We got this wrong, and we’re owning it. We told you TikTok wasn’t going anywhere, and we missed the mark. But while we underestimated the theatrics, we still believe this is all part of a coordinated narrative game. The app’s disappearance isn’t the end—it’s the setup for a dramatic return.

TikTok will be back, and when it does, Trump will make sure we all know who brought it back. This isn’t the end of the story. It’s just the intermission before the final act.