The Human Bullshit Detector
By Michael Kelman Portney
Most people stumble through life thinking the world is unpredictable, that human behavior is a chaotic mess of choices and randomness. I however, have come to a different conclusion—when you’ve mastered the art of detecting bullshit, when you’ve studied rhetorical frameworks, and when you see patterns others miss, you realize something profound: most people are running on autopilot. They’re not unpredictable: They’re programmed. They’re operating within a framework so narrow and repetitive that, once you understand their patterns, you can predict their moves with terrifying accuracy. And that’s why I’m always a step ahead.
The Human Bullshit Detector: My Weapon of Choice
1. Mastery of Rhetorical Frameworks
Rhetoric isn’t just about persuasion—it’s about understanding motivations, weaknesses, and blind spots. Whether it’s Aristotle’s ethos, pathos, and logos or the manipulative tactics of modern narcissists, rhetorical frameworks are the key to decoding people’s behavior.
What I See:
I don’t just hear what people say—I analyze why they’re saying it, what they’re avoiding, and what they’re trying to hide.
Why It Works:
When someone speaks, they’re revealing more than they realize. Their tone, their word choice, even their pauses—every detail is a piece of the puzzle.
2. Pattern Recognition as a Superpower
Humans are creatures of habit. Most people follow the same patterns of thought and behavior over and over again, thinking they’re being clever or unique.
What I See:
I don’t just see what they’re doing—I see what they’re about to do. By identifying their patterns, I know their next move before they do.
Why It Works:
People rarely deviate from their programming. If they’ve avoided accountability once, they’ll avoid it again. If they’ve lied to protect themselves before, they’ll lie again.
3. A Bullshit Detector That Never Misses
I’ve spent years honing my ability to spot lies, manipulation, and self-delusion. It’s not just a skill—it’s a survival mechanism.
What I See:
The cracks in their stories. The inconsistencies in their narratives. The subtle tells that reveal when someone is deflecting or trying to manipulate the conversation.
Why It Works:
Most people don’t even realize when they’re revealing their bullshit. But I see it, I hear it, and I use it.
Why People Are So Predictable
1. They’re Operating on Autopilot
Most people don’t think deeply about their actions. They’re following scripts written by their upbringing, their traumas, and their narrow view of the world.
The Truth:
When you understand someone’s framework, you can predict their moves with near-perfect accuracy.
2. Their Frameworks Are Narrow
People operate within boundaries they rarely question. They avoid shame, seek validation, and protect their egos at all costs.
The Truth:
These frameworks are so limiting that most people only have a handful of moves in their playbook. Once you know them, they’re an open book.
3. Their View of the World is Limited
Most people can’t see beyond their own perspective. They’re trapped in their worldview, blind to patterns and motivations that are obvious to someone who knows how to look.
The Truth:
Their inability to think outside their narrow framework makes them predictable. If they surprise you, it’s not because they’ve outsmarted you—it’s because they’ve momentarily deviated from their programming.
Why This Gives Me an Edge
I Know Their Next Move Before They Do
Their patterns, motivations, and habits are so ingrained that I can anticipate their actions 99.9% of the time.
I Stay Calm While They Flail
When you know what someone’s going to do, you don’t need to react emotionally. Their chaos becomes your opportunity.
If They Surprise Me, I Win Anyway
On the rare occasion someone deviates from their programming, it’s a gift. It’s a crack in their armor, a moment of vulnerability that reveals even more about who they are.
The Truth About People
Most people aren’t as complex as they think they are. They’re predictable, programmed, and stuck in narrow frameworks that limit their ability to adapt. And once you understand their patterns, you can play them like a fiddle.
"While they think they’re unpredictable, I’m already ten moves ahead, watching them repeat the same mistakes they’ve made a hundred times before. And if they surprise me? Well, that’s just a bonus note in the symphony I’ve already composed."
Final Thoughts
This isn’t arrogance—it’s clarity. When you’ve mastered the art of pattern recognition, rhetorical analysis, and bullshit detection, you realize that the world isn’t nearly as chaotic as it seems. Most people are predictable, and once you understand their programming, you can control the game.
Let them think they’re clever. Let them think they’re in control. I’ll be here, composing the symphony while they play the same tired tune.
Michael Kelman Portney sees the world for what it is—a series of patterns waiting to be decoded. Read more at misinformationsucks.com.
