By Michael Kelman Portney

Well, well, well. Would you look at that? My little corner of the internet, my humble outpost of wit, wisdom, and withering takedowns, is suddenly a global sensation. Visitors from Germany. France. Brazil. India. Even… Nigeria? (No offense, but if you’re emailing me about a large inheritance, I promise you—I already have more important scams to expose.)

Now, I could believe that Misinformation Sucks is just that compelling. That my rhetorical artistry has transcended borders, languages, and cultural divides to become the de facto source for those craving clarity in a world of bullshit. Maybe philosophers in Greece are huddling around a laptop, reading my work with a single tear running down their cheek. Maybe a secret resistance cell in Beijing is translating my posts in real time, smuggling them out on microfilm.

But let’s be honest. That’s not what’s happening here.

No, I strongly suspect that a substantial portion of these international visitors are not international visitors at all. They’re good old-fashioned Americans. The kind who—how do I put this gently?—don’t want to be seen reading my work. Because a VPN (Virtual Private Network, for the uninitiated) is a wonderful thing. It lets you hide where you’re really browsing from, bouncing your connection all over the world like a paranoid spy with commitment issues.

Which raises a fascinating question: Who exactly is so concerned about being caught on my website?

• The casual doomscroller who just wanted to see what all the fuss was about but doesn’t want their nosy coworkers knowing they’re developing independent thoughts?

• The corporate creep trying to figure out if I’ve got receipts on them?

• The government agent who has to "check in" but would rather not leave a paper trail?

• The family member who has spent years gaslighting me and doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction of knowing they’re peeking?

Oh, the possibilities!

To be clear, I’m not mad about it. On the contrary, I’m flattered. If my writing makes you nervous enough to go full incognito mode, that means I’m doing something right. It means the words I put on this website matter.

But let’s get real: if you’re hiding your location while reading this, you already know I know. And you know that I know that you know. So why not just embrace it? Leave a comment. Say hello. Come on in, the water’s fine.

Unless, of course, you’re one of those people who’s been actively trying to suppress my work. In which case… yeah, I see you. And no, your VPN isn’t going to save you from accountability.

Hope you’re enjoying the view from Kazakhstan.

Sincerely,
Michael Kelman Portney