By Michael Kelman Portney

Winning an argument with me is no walk in the park. It’s not because I’m stubborn or because I talk louder than you. It’s because I’ve turned argumentation into a craft. Every sentence I speak is balanced on four pillars: ethos, pathos, logos, and kairos. These are not abstract concepts for me—they’re my weapons, my shield, and my scalpel. I deploy them with precision, and I’m constantly analyzing every word you say for the same principles. If you slip up, I will notice.

But it’s not impossible. If you really want to win an argument with me, there’s a way to do it. I’ll even show you how.

How I Make Winning an Argument Difficult

First, let me explain why most people lose before they’ve even started. The secret lies in how I balance ethos (credibility), pathos (emotion), logos (logic), and kairos (timing) with every sentence I speak. Here’s what that looks like:

• Ethos (Credibility): I establish authority by staying grounded in facts, demonstrating authenticity, and avoiding any sign of deception or exaggeration. Every statement I make builds trust, so you can’t undermine my credibility without dismantling my logic (good luck with that).

• Pathos (Emotion): I don’t let emotions overwhelm my arguments; I use them to enhance them. When I appeal to your emotions, it’s deliberate and calculated—just enough to connect, but never enough to look desperate.

• Logos (Logic): This is my bread and butter. My arguments are built on a foundation of clear, well-reasoned logic. If there’s a flaw in my reasoning, I’ve already addressed it in my head before you get the chance.

• Kairos (Timing): Timing is everything. I know when to drop a powerful point, when to let you talk yourself into a corner, and when to pivot to something new. I’m not just playing to win—I’m playing to dominate.

Meanwhile, I’m analyzing every word you say for these same principles. If you overload on pathos, I know your logic is shaky. If your timing is off, I exploit the gap. If your credibility starts crumbling, I let it happen. Watching someone overload on emotion while their logic falters is like handing them a rope and watching them hang themselves.

How You Can Beat Me

So, how do you win? If you’re going to take me on in an argument, you need to approach it like a chess match, not a shouting match. Here’s how you can actually beat me—or at least give yourself a fighting chance:

1. Master the Rhetorical Triad

If you don’t know how to balance ethos, pathos, and logos, you’re already losing. Here’s what you need to do:

• Build Ethos: Demonstrate expertise, authenticity, and trustworthiness. Don’t fake it—if you try to bluff your way through, I’ll notice. Use real-world examples, cite credible sources, and stay calm. Credibility is a fragile thing; don’t let it shatter under pressure.

• Control Pathos: Emotions are powerful, but they need to be controlled. Use them to connect, not to overwhelm. If you come across as overly emotional, I’ll know your argument is compensating for weak logic. Keep your emotions authentic but measured.

• Strengthen Logos: Your argument needs to make sense, full stop. If your logic has holes, I’ll find them. Anticipate counterarguments and address them before I get the chance. Be precise, not vague. Use evidence and examples to back up your points.

2. Master Kairos (Timing)

Timing is where most people fail. If you drop a great point at the wrong time, it lands flat. To win, you need to read the room, anticipate my moves, and know when to strike. Here’s how to time your arguments:

• Don’t Rush: Let me talk. The more I say, the more opportunities you’ll have to counter. Be patient and pick your moment.

• Watch for Openings: If I pause to think or pivot, that’s your chance to jump in. Don’t waste it by rambling—come in with something strong and concise.

• End Strong: Always finish on a high note. If you let me have the last word, I’ll use it to reframe the entire argument in my favor.

3. Don’t Overload on Pathos

This is where most people fall apart. If your argument becomes an emotional tirade, you’re handing me a win on a silver platter. Here’s how to avoid that:

• Stay Grounded: When you feel yourself getting emotional, take a breath. Let your emotions support your argument, not take it over.

• Avoid Defensiveness: If I question your credibility or logic, don’t lash out. Instead, double down on facts and reasoning. Defensiveness only makes you look weaker.

4. Learn to Listen

Most people think arguing is about talking. It’s not. It’s about listening. Pay attention to what I’m saying, how I’m saying it, and what I’m not saying. Every word I speak gives you clues about my strategy. If you’re too busy thinking about your next point, you’ll miss them.

5. Know When to Concede

Sometimes, the smartest move is to concede a small point to win the larger argument. If I make a good point, acknowledge it. It shows confidence and builds your ethos. Just make sure you pivot back to your main argument afterward.

Final Thoughts

Winning an argument with me is hard because I’ve spent years mastering the art of rhetoric. I don’t just argue; I analyze, adapt, and strike with precision. But that doesn’t mean you can’t beat me. If you want to win, you need to master the same principles I use: balance ethos, pathos, logos, and kairos. Be deliberate. Be patient. Be prepared. And most importantly, don’t hand me the rope to hang your argument for you.

Because if you do, I will.

Now, the question is: are you ready to step into the ring?