RE: Our Readers Are So Stupid, They Don’t Even Understand Satire
From: BigMouthBoss@misinformationsucks.com (mailto:BigMouthBoss@misinformationsucks.com)To: TheWholeDamnCrew@misinformationsucks.com (mailto:TheWholeDamnCrew@misinformationsucks.com)Date: 12/08/2024 08:45 AM PST
From: BigMouthBoss
Team,
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - our readers are dumber than Trump on nitrous. Every time we write something with even a hint of complexity, they're out there in the comments, scratching their heads like they've just been asked to solve quantum physics with a crayon.
From: ClickBaitKing
I mean, who knew our article "Elon Musk's Secret Plan to Live Forever Using AI" would be taken literally? We might as well have written "Elon Musk is Literally a Robot Now."
From: SatireSlinger
Yeah, and remember the piece on "CEO Killer's Trash Bag Item Identified as Luxury Cock Ring"? The comment section was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. "Is this real?!" "I knew it, they're all perverts!" Oh, the sweet, sweet ignorance.
From: TrollMaster
The best part is when they argue with each other over the satire. We should start grading their comments; A for "Completely Missed the Point," B for "Half-Believed It," and F for "Actually Tried to Fact-Check on Snopes."
From: ConspiracyWeaver
I've got an idea. Let's start a series called "The Truth Behind Your Idiocy." We'll explain how satire works but in such a convoluted way that they'll think it's another level of conspiracy.
From: ClickBaitKing
Genius! And we can throw in some quizzes at the end. "Can You Spot the Satire?" with questions like "Is the Earth Flat or Just Your Understanding?" We can say we’re BlueAnon!
From: SatireSlinger
We should also start a reader of the month award for "The Dumbest Fucking Dumb-Dumb that ever walked the earth this month" It'll be like a badge of honor for them, or at least another reason to keep coming back and proving our point.
From: TrollMaster
And let's not forget to embed some Easter eggs in our articles. Like, if they click on "learn more" under the flat earth article, it leads to a page showing how to make your own flat earth model from a pizza box.
From: BigMouthBoss
Alright, let's do this. But remember, we're here to educate... or at least entertain ourselves while they educate us on how not to think. Keep up the good work, you guys wanna go burn one in the parking lot?
Disclaimer: This email thread has been fabricated for satirical purposes and does not reflect any real communications from Misinformation.Sucks or its staff. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental and intended for humor. Enjoy the irony, readers.
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